Ventures Of HBK
by TriTangy
Summary: Random snippets of what HBK is up to. Rated T for mentions of slash, swearing and not M cause I don't know how to write smex yet. :D
1. Chapter 1

Note: I'm sorry that this is so short and weird. Its kinda what results when you put a whole chunk of homework that just screams at you to do and 3 am at night. Its kinda fucked up, Sorry!!!

"SHAWN!" Cena shrieked, his swearing constantly being cut off by bouts of coughing due to the pungent odour that was emitting out of his bag.

"Shawn…what did you do again?" Hunter rolled his eyes at the self-proclaimed sexy boy, his enormous nose twitching in suspicion.

He was bluntly ignored, choosing to screech back, Shawn's voice reverberated from the cafeteria all the way to the locker room, "You can't prove it was me cause YOU CAN'T SEE ME! Da Da Da D, eeep!"

His hand stopped waving in mid-air as Randy had grabbed him from behind. "Hey now the locker room stinks and My Cody doesn't like it", Cody was as usual faithfully at his side, his head bobbing up and down in agreement with an adorable pout gracing his features.

"Well, I had to put that stinkbomb somewhere didn't I? Only Cena and Mark were stupid enough to leave their bags open." But he was not that stupid to prank Mark, he liked being alive, Thank you very much.

Upset that his poor imitation of Cena had been interrupted, Shawn grabbed a banana from the fruit basket in front of him and shoved it in between Cody's lips, "YOU JUST GOT MOUTH FUCKED!"

Randy was about to rip The Icon from limb to limb when the Straight Edge Society naturally came out to save the day( pun intended).

"Straight Edge means I'm better than you" Punk recited, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the sight of the cigarette that was hanging off Hunter's lips.

"Oh come on, everybody knows that you're not straight, you're fucking Baldy here aren't you. I mean the male, wanna-be Britney Spears" Hunter retorted as Serena bared her teeth at him.

Luke's face went red and he hastily replied " CM Punk CAN be your saviour, by…."

Before he could finish, Shawn did the best thing he did all day.

He threw a kiwi at Gallows screaming, "YOU JUST BEEN RAPED BY PUNK!" as the hairy fruit bounced off the shiny bald head of the Straight Edge Society member.


	2. Chapter 2

Hunter spotted Shawn creeping behind the sound sets, donning the strangest attire he had ever seen in his big-nosed life. Shawn was dressed in black robes that were too short, gripping a large red onion in his hand tightly. But that was not all, Shawn was wearing the most obscenely rainbow chaps Hunter had EVEEER seen in his life.

"Shawn! What in fucks name are y-epp!" Hunter let loose a girlish squeal that did not go well with his large body as Shawn yanked him down.

"SHHHH! Don't let the evil creatures hear us! They are going to come and…and _rape_ me!" Shawn whispered furiously in an undertone.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA, What the Fuck Shawn? There are no creatures, what do you think this is, Animal Planet?"

Shawn eyes widened, "BLASPHEMY! The evil creatures are coming to **outrage. my .modesty!" **as he thumped Hunter in the chest with every single word.

"I'm gonna die a raped victim, Why? Oh why, I never did anything bad other than that time when I dumped a pie in Rebecca's face, spiked Glenn's body oil with itching powder, messed up Jeff's painting, splashing your sledgehammer with holy water cause it was evil, performing an exorcism on Punk with Coke, stealing Chris's awesomely thick dictionary, dumping stink bombs in-" Shawn was screaming his head off at this point, his fingers tugging at the sparse hair that he had left. Hunter shook his head at the absurdity. "Wait, YOU TOUCHED SLEDGY?"

Just at this moment, a dark shadow loomed over the two degenerates. With a quick whip of his head, he found **The Viper**, Randy and **The Animal**, Batista glaring at Shawn.

Shawn squealed like a dying pig as Hunter broke out in hysterical laughter, causing the pair to turn their glares to him. Randy had the letters "EV" while Batista had the letters "IL" written on them in black sharpie. They were the "EVIL creatures".

Suddenly the squealing stopped as Shawn looked seriously at the two enraged superstars and shouted to the heavens, "AVADA KEDAVRA, BEGONE EVIL CREATURES THAT EAT DA POO POO!"

An evil glint came into the eyes of the 2 evil creatures as Shawn and Hunter were hurled onto their shoulders, Shawn's wailing about how he, the mighty Voldermort should be let down mingling with Hunter's laughter.

Horrified screams of agony resounded down the hallway with pleas to be set free of the torture as the catchy tune of Hannah Montana blared in the background. Randy and Batista shared smiles as a yell of "Oh my gosh, HER TEETH!" rang out and travelled down the now-empty hallway.

Author's note: I am really really sorry I was gone for so long. I'll be updating Forced tomorrow. I had a lot on my plate this past few weeks, it had been utterly CRAZY. But good news is that it's the HOLIDAYS and can focus on writing Forced! I've already written many chapters, I just have to write the fillers till we get to the good part. And if you don't get the "Eat Da Poo Poo" part I suggest you watch this .com/watch?v=euXQbZDwV0w . I would also like to disclaim here that I do not own anything listed here, from the WWE, to the superstars, to the sharpie used and to Hannah Montana. I have no intention of offending any one with my Hannah Montana torture method, I was just coincidently watching a hate video of her, I do not dislike Miley Cyrus in any way or another. On another note, I had a new story up, its called And We All Fall Down, its Candy, Randy/Cody slash, so don't read if you don't like and I'm really sorry if my fics are not up to standard. Just hoped this made your day a little more happier~ :D


	3. Chapter 3

Shawn rubbed his head and tried to wish his asscrack headache away. He and Hunter had been trapped in that fucking room so long that he swear he had became Hannah Montana himself. Gasping, Shawn looked down and checked himself ending with a sigh of relief. He shuddered as the memory of what happened earlier hit him:

"_Shawn you tootball, come with me!" Hunter yanked him by the scruff of his collar before removing a box from a locked closet with careful, precise movements. Upon opening it, Shawn gasped in wonder. Inside lay Hunter's beloved weapon, Sledgy, with pictures of it all over the sides, most of them containing Hunter in positions that Shawn would never ever want to see again. Beethoven's lullaby was playing softly from a small ipod beside Sledgey. It was a mini shrine. Hunter pushed him down on to his knees, gaining a small whimper in return. Shawn pouted as he was made to apologise exactly 3145times, the exact number of times Hunter had professed his love to it._

Shawn's head pounded with every step his took, his urge to annoy someone or something overcoming him. Spying the master of 619, he bounced ahead. "Hey, Rey! I loveeee your entrance song, its so sexual, look I can sing it!" " Phooyaka Phooyaka, Sex One Night, Phooyaka Phooyaka, Lay Mysterious!" Shawn belted out with obscene thrusts to the rhythm. Rey glared hard at Shawn and stormed away.

Giggling softly, Shawn turned around, his smooth hair whipping behind him. His eyes widened in shock as he shrilled girlishly **" The LEGO monster has come to vanquish us all!"**

Cena stood in front of him, mouth gaped wide open.

Author's note: AHHAA, That was fun to write! Once again ,I do not mean any offence to Cena nor Rey and the people that do his music. I like everything from blood and horror to rainbows and ponies and this is only my opinion. And I'm sorry if you really take it to heart and if my fics are not good to you.


End file.
